Jenny Brown (skywind8) wrote,
Jenny Brown

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I lost me and then I found me

Was bummed out and unfocused for a while (weeks). Felt like I'd lost myself. And then I stumbled into a book that was a flash of recognition.

Copying from facebook:

Further update on "too many dreams". Found an article on people who are Scanners (juggle many interests) which led to a book on that called "Refuse to Choose!" and another book titled "The Renaissance Soul: Life Design for People with Too Many Passions to Pick Just One". These are fascinating and may help me find more... personal ways to structure my priorities, intentions, and time, in ways that work for my style rather than the traditional style.

I also find myself moving quickly towards eBooks because the immediate download lets me read and complete the book within the 1-2 days when my interest is peaked; instead of 2 weeks later when it comes in the mail and my interest has moved on.

My working style -- I have a wide variety of interests. Once interested in something I rarely give it up though it may pause for years. I gain mastery in the things that I come back to over and over again, for instance programming and photography. Their intense interest squeezes out other choices and they dominate for a while - but then I reach some level of satisfactory mastery (often fairly advanced) and then let it stagnate while I work on other things. I can always come back, and a little refresher lets me pick right back up where I left off.

I don't go for mastery of everything; most things are a sampling, a taste to enjoy the curiosity and learn enough about a field to understand what makes the masters of it good. Often, that lets me enjoy others' art and efforts more deeply and have far greater respect for their mastery. A taste of a field gives me the perspective to start thinking about questions.

How does a master painting differ from a college painting class result? What nuance goes into word choice in song writing and why does that work? Why can't I get a picture of a sunset to come out when a master photographer can? Why are ball gowns made of satin but sundresses are made of cotton? How do bellydancers move like that, and how many years would it take me to learn it? How do panpipe players make such an awesome variety of sounds using such a simple instrument; sweet, sharp, sassy, mellow, fluttery, low and haunting?

People comment, jack of all trades is master of none. They haven't met enough people. Some of us master multiple areas and still keep juggling additional curiosities on the side. I've hit solid mastery on computer programming, beginning pro-level on photography, and have handfuls of other talents at the amateur level waiting in the wings for a chance at dedicated development to take them to beginning pro level. It's just fun. This is what I enjoy instead of tv. I explore the world through direct experience.

There's so much more I could say, especially once I explore these ideas more deeply. (I hadn't read the book yet when I made the FB post yesterday; I downloaded and read the whole thing and completed it today, and of course there's more depth there.) The book has a wonderful (and diverse) set of tools for structuring time around the various different Scanner working strategies, too, so everyone can find a blend of approaches that helps them do things. Also, ways to track ideas, so all the various projects don't get lost.

I am working on one right now. I think I might call it my "Mile a Minute Ideas Book" or something like that. It's basically a brainstorming journal. I picked out a blank book tonight, based on size and comfort for writing, and then since it had an ugly cardboard cover, I gesso'd it to prep it for receiving paint. Once I paint it, then I've got a nifty butterflies greeting card front to paste onto it, and then it's ready.

The sense that I can write up ideas, even explore them in detail, without necessarily always doing the projects is new and fascinating. And some of them might ripen enough that I want to follow through with a project; but not all of them and not right at first. So the ideas book becomes a treasure chest of thoughts and maybes and dreams and possibilities. And my creative expression, even when I don't have time to DO all the projects.

Another thing that's important to me as I explore various project areas, hobbies, ideas, and skills, is that I can enjoy doing something and learning it while not doing it perfectly or even "good enough." I can be bad at something and do it anyway because I'm a beginner and I'm loving doing it. I can take on a hard challenge knowing that I will suck at it for the first few years but if I keep cycling back to it, I will gradually gain skill. In fact, I think it's realistic to say that if I were a D&D character, I'd be a multi-class character... gaining skill slowly but in such a wide spread of area that it somehow works out fantastically. And I learn fast enough to keep up in many areas at once.

The book mentioned one tool for scheduling time, for some of the various personality types. Basically, it uses the school day schedule. An hour to this project, two hours to that project, a half hour on this and a half hour on that. Perhaps changing up the projects on different days. That's basically what I was starting to learn towards to do all the things I currently want to be doing (panflute, bellydance, singing, sewing, crochet, hiking, and studying for my new job role). (Oh, and photography and writing. And putting together my own scrapbooks as digital books. And answering Grove packet questions. Um. I think that's all for now?)

Let's see, that's uh 11 courses... heh. Or group them: music (panflute, singing), fitness (dance, hiking), creative (photo, writing, scrapbooks, sewing, crochet), self-development (studying, grove). That's really only 4 areas but with variation in the activities. I could theoretically hit all of those within a week, and repeat indefinitely; and panflute and some fitness could be daily activities.

See, it kind of works. :)

I don't have an actual schedule yet. Still considering. Today was spent careening forward towards realizing how I can work with my natural tendencies instead of against them, and that's awesome. But leaves some chores undone. So time to do that and get some sleep.
Tags: declutter, gifted, scanner
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