Jenny Brown (skywind8) wrote,
Jenny Brown
skywind8

  • Mood:

So Worn

Life feels like a marathon lately and not in a good way. Sigh.

My days have been spent with too little sleep, and poor quality. I might currently be coming down with a cold; not sure yet, but Daniel has one, which is a near guarantee of me getting it too. I still have to syringe feed a cat twice a day, at 45 minutes per event. Both cats are on daily meds. Daniel has 3x daily topical meds I have to to put on his back. It seems like it's all I can do to go to work, take care of cats and home, desperately try to relax talking with friends, and rush back off to sleep.

Nothing satisfies. I don't really relax, don't really play. I got a little playtime on Sunday when I was messing with some digital art, and that was good, but it was over all too soon. I know it didn't help that I was doing server work for my job over the weekend; I feel like I didn't really get a weekend. I'm worn out. I keep waiting for rest to come, and it doesn't.

I see signs of sleep loss. Loss of memory and attention, loss of motivation, low mood. Staying in bed extra hours in the morning, sleeping fitfully but not relaxed.

There's been a lot of change to adjust to at work, recently, and that has also been wearing on me. None of my usual patterns work anymore. Things are out of sorts. I'm not adapted.

I'm tired. Can I be done now?


I haven't had time to exercise, time to dance, time to write, time to think, time to work on grove packets... I've spent some good time talking with friends but haven't had the energy or focus or clarity for anything else.

Can I be done? Can the cats get better and Daniel heal and work calm down and my energy come back and my worries fade, so that I can go back to having a normal life and being functional again? 'Cause this "not keeping up with anything quite right" is really wearing me down.
Tags: self-tending
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